Tag Archives: #leapoffaith

Limited By Our Thoughts

Adam and I were discussing cartoon movies we have watched in the past like Cars, Toy Story, How to train your dragon, Kung Fu Panda and Up. The storyline for these movies except Up is primarily based on personification. Up is truly an outlier – ‘a little out of this world’, especially the relationship between the old guy and the young boy scout. Think back to the last book you read or the movie you watched. The plot usually revolves around our daily lives.

There is a book by Christopher Booker titled, ‘The Seven Basic Plots’ which says that there is only seven basic plot. Even the fantasy, Sci-fi movies revolve around these seven plots.

  • Overcoming the Monster.
  • Rags to Riches.
  • The Quest.
  • Voyage and Return.
  • Rebirth.
  • Comedy.
  • Tragedy.

Our imagination, thoughts, ideas, reality and ultimately, the world we live in is limited by what we know. Hopefully, it is dawning on most of us that the world we live in and the consciousness that exists needs an upgrade soon; otherwise, we will be obsolete. With global warming, climate change, increasing focus on genders – we have to do something fast before the universe decides to ignore this speck and continue on its journey.

A shift is happening in some pockets. It may seem very different from our recurring themes to date that our first reaction may be to reject it. For example, in Japan – Akihiko Kondo married his favourite cartoon character. Check out this story at this link in bbc.com . I am sure the people who read this article had a variety of responses ranging from appalled to excited to indifference. But what if this is what will take us to the next level – our next operating system upgrade. It is possible that in the future, a child being born from a mother’s womb becomes a rarity. Let’s face it – human beings are the only race on earth that is not in danger of getting extinct anytime soon. Maybe nature in collaboration with us is trying to help us save us from ourselves?

My favourite quote attributed to Einstein’s is: “We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.” The only time we ever genuinely transcend a problem is when we get new, fresh thinking about it. In other words, we experience a jump in consciousness. This is what is needed now. For this, it requires us to look past what is known and comfortable to us and embrace the new. Even if we are not able to embrace them right away, can we at least keep an open mind and see where it takes us. This leap of faith requires us to make a transition from our known ways of thinking of unique styles of existence which may be beyond imagination.

This requires us to look past our current biases around issues like LGBTQ, Eating meat, immigration, mine vs yours and so on. Unless we can move past these judgements based on the label and randomly drawn lines on the map, we will not be creating space for the change.

How will you create space in your life?

Positive Intent

Have you ever woken up in the morning deciding to make someone’s else life hell? If yes, then it is better that you don’t get out of bed. Jokes aside, earnestly when have we wished to hurt another person. If you are like an average person then your thoughts will be focused more on you – I am already running late, I need to do a zillion things, traffic is going to be worse. Etc etc.

Then why do we assume somebody else would want to wish us to harm intentionally?

For example, you are driving to work, and somebody cuts you off – how often do we jump to the conclusion that he did it on purpose. When in reality the other driver might not even be thinking about you – all he wants to do is get to work like you.

Or, at work, if somebody forgets to do what you asked them to do – the immediate response is a judgment on his ability when in reality the server might be down, and he could not access the work he had done to bring it to you.

You go to a party, and the hostess takes one look at you and does a 180-degree turn. You think she does not like you, but it is possible she realized she just left her purse in the toilet.

Now, in most cases, we will never know what the other party intended but what is in control is our reaction to the situation. This is where you choose to feed the dog and not the wolf within you.

Dalai Lama, said, “Love and Compassion Are Necessities Not Luxuries, Without Them, Humanity Cannot Survive.” Look at the world around us, the circumstance in which we live – we need more of the positive energy, and we can do our bit towards it.

It doesn’t have to stop with us. If you have a friend or a companion, who jumps to negative in everything try and plant a good possibility in their minds. And of course, if somebody has decided to live in a world where everybody assumes harmful intent towards them then wish them well and make sure you protect your well-being when you interact with them.

All significant journeys start with one baby step. The first step here is to become aware of the fact that you are not assuming the positive intent. Most of the times our minds conditioned to see the worst in the people – that mental model needs to be modified. And for it to evolve first we need to know in which situations do we use that mental model – shine a light on it – and the very act of shining the light on it will at the very least decrease the intensity of our response or adverse reaction.

Another way to incorporate into our lives would be when you are preparing for an awkward conversation with a loved one or a colleague – make a conscious decision to assume that they have the best intentions. This would take out 80% of the stress from our lives due to such situations.

And the best way to learn something is to teach it – so if you can spread your light to another person, the light will only get bigger.

Aki The Great

I would like you to meet our Shiba Inu pup – Aki (which means Bright Prince in Japanese). He is two years old, and honestly, I don’t know what life was like without him. All the secret to success mantras like positive thinking, the power of thought Aki knows them all instinctively – the ones that I still have trouble grasping. This post is dedicated to Aki and his greatness.

1. Power of Thought: Aki lives in a world where his humans exist to give him treats. The minute I step into the laundry room the possibility of not getting a treat does not exist for him. He will just sit there, and in his eyes, he is 200% sure that he will get the treat and he usually does. I wish I had the same unwavering faith in the outcomes I want in my life.

2. No grudges: Aki has a very short memory. He has no recollection of things, so every day is like a groundhog day for him. This one time Aki got free from his collar and took Adam on a one-hour ride. And he was punished by cage time, but by evening he had forgotten that he was ever in the cage and he was as excited to see Adam as any other day. I, on the other hand, took two days go let go.

3. Serious Business: Aki is a watchdog of some sort. And he takes this very seriously – it doesn’t matter to him if I am giving him a treat at that time. A scrap of paper flapping in the corner of the road is serious business. If he thinks there is danger he is on it – tail straight, teeth bared. He means it – how much ever Adam and I might find it funny. Sometimes I wish I could go on with the things which I thought were serious, even if people around me were laughing.

4. Relax: Aki can relax at any time. There is nothing that stops him from going to sleep if he wants to. He can sleep immediately and get up instantly. There is no getting ready for bed for him or waking up in the morning. I am asleep, and now I am not. I wish I could switch off like that.

5. Unconditional love: This one I doubt if I will ever master in this lifetime. For Aki, there is no doubt about the love he has for us. It is so ingrained that it possibly doesn’t even cross his mind. We are a pack – end of story. Until I met Aki, I didn’t think I was capable of unconditional love or putting somebody else’s needs before me (Yes, I know I am selfish.) Aki neither earns any money or does any chores, but his humans serve him willingly – what a life!

I had heard about how great it is to have a dog but having a dog makes you realize that all that is true. There is so much simplicity and pure joy in his life that it is a miracle. You can follow him on instagram @ iamluckyaki.

Creations By The Moment

I sat down to write my blog, and I didn’t know what to write. Usually, I have an idea that I have been toying with and then its just a matter of letting it all flow on the paper. This time was a little different. I looked at my backlog, racked my brains, but nothing came up, so I decided to write about what I was experiencing – creating.

Some of you probably know I have a dance class that I teach and the first class of the year is on Jan 22nd, this coming Monday. I choreograph the songs in advance, and it is an exciting process. I scout the upcoming Bollywood movies for songs. And once I identify a song, I listen to it a dozen times, look at a few of the existing dance videos and then start choreographing it. The first time is a little sketchy – steps are random, they don’t quite fit. But the second time around it falls into place and voila! I have the song choreographed. Isn’t this amazing that I have a set of steps for a song which did not exist before – this is creativity. Creating something that did not exist before.

Much like writing this blog, it did not exist until I started putting words on paper. Similar to cooking too, where you get a bunch of ingredients to create something that did not exist before. Even at work where you create a document, process, product – it did not exist until you created it.

Life is no different – we are creating something that did not exist before – moment by moment.

Does it mean that we create the problems in our life too? Yes, like how you create joy in your life? For most of us, we are not aware of what we are building. For example, let’s say you are about to go and have an awkward conversation with a stakeholder – take a moment and notice your thoughts. Are they filled with loving-kindness towards this person or do you fear, anger towards this person? Depending on what views you have – the situation will present itself. If you approach the situation with Metta, then things will be amicable, but if you advance with animosity, you have set the stage for a confrontation. Now, when we say thoughts – it is not the superficial mind chatter we are talking about, we are talking about the feeling that you have deep down which you know how you are feeling. That sense will dictate how the conversation proceeds.

Now that we know we create our life and the situations in it – we can proactively create joy. If we believe that we still have negativity, then we postpone the meeting until we get to space where it is positivity. Even if we have no choice but to have the conversation awareness of your thoughts will lessen the intensity of the outcome.

We are indeed creating our life moment by moment. We can direct it how we want – let’s all go forth and create the life we want.

Listening – Muscle

I have a hard time listening to others. I am very good at listening… to myself – I am beginning to realize that I love the sound of my own voice. And recently with the change in my role as a people leader I find myself coming back to the listening more and more. Maybe, its because I am realizing that unless I learn to listen I won’t be efficient. And like everything else this is also an ability that can be learnt and it will take time.

I have given this matter – “Why I don’t Listen?” some serious thought.

REASON 1: I believe I know all the answers. I believe I am smarter than others and get to solution quicker. And maybe I can but that’s not the end – is it? I would never do something if somebody told me to do it – unless I realize that’s it something I want to do usually it means I have thought about it. So this applies to other people too. And it depends on the situation – if you know somebody is running towards fire then you will do your best to stop them and not listen to why they are trying to burn themselves. Most situations in life aren’t that dangerous or crucial.

REASON 2: I don’t have the time. I have other things to do and cannot waste my time listening to people talk. Really! That is not true. And irony is if I don’t slow down and listen now, then I will always be hurrying. If I have to make life easier for me then I have to slow down and listen to people.

REASON 3: If I am just listening then what value am I adding? I have to realize that listening to people, truly listening people is the greatest gift I can give them in this world. And it is definitely more valuable than talking.

Or sometimes I wonder if it is the fear of silence, un-comfortable feeling that arises when there is silence – does it mean I have to hold off a little longer. Give people some more time before wrapping it up or filling it in?

Talking takes up a lot of energy and most of what I talk is utter nonsense. Just to fill the space. There is a very little part of what I say during the day that really has to be said. Rest of the time I am just trying to prove how smart and important I am. Now – that has its own place but not all the time. So, even though I know all this then why is it so hard for me to listen? Because I forget, and old habits die hard. But all great journeys begin with one step. And I set the intent to listen every day. Even I fail to do that the intention is there and that is the first step.

Why do I feel it is important to listen? Because I feel it and at this point in my life it is something that I need to learn. Like my dad had said – “I am trying to increase my listening capacity.” He and my husband, Adam would know as they listen to me all the time. I am grateful for that.

I am on a journey and hopefully I am at a different station when we talk about this topic next.

That person does not exist

I recently attended a CPM alumni retreat in London. And it has been a decade since I took the course first at London Business School. In the first class Prof. Rao invited us speak about what we want from the class. And at that time I was at crossroads in my life journey – on how I want to live my life. I asked – “I would like to know by the end of the course what choice should I make?” And prof. replied, “Well, I am not sure if you will find answers but you will definitely have more questions.”

That answer did leave me perplexed because I believed that all things should have an answer – a very clear, direct, black and white answer. And CPM started me on a spiritual journey and I haven’t looked back since then. I started doing yoga, meditating seriously, hanging out with the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Ramana Maharishi and recently I discovered Michael Singer. And ten years have gone by and I meet people who are starting on the journey. I find that my language has changed since I started and sometimes I am not able to relate at that level. And I discussed this with prof. and he said, “Of course, that would be the case because the person who took the course first time does not exist anymore.”

That was that – as simple as that. And it is true isn’t it, all of us are no longer that person anymore and that is how nature intended – change is constant after all. But some of use refuse to let our old selves go and we hang on to them and wonder why we are not evolving.

It’s like you had a tiff with somebody ten years ago and you decided you are going to remember the hurt forever and in some cases we even say, “I will remember this for seven lifetimes.” Well, have fun hanging on to the hurt that was probably caused by some misunderstanding on your part. This is just one example of how we do not let ourselves go. Yes, we hang on these bits and add to the building blocks of our prison.

Our existence on earth is not a sprint its a marathon and you have no way of figuring out who started out when. But, if you believe that you have evolved then you act as a guidepost for other people who are on the same track like how people ahead of you did for you. All the people in your life, all the interactions you have are sign posts to guide you on your journey. It doesn’t matter whether you liked them or not. For example, you are on your way from A to B and a signpost points to the left and says B <-- This way. But you decide to go forward because you don't like the color of the signpost. It doesn't matter what the color is - what matters is the direction on it.

That person does not exist anymore – it is really powerful to know that at many different layers.

Ashville, NC – charming with extras

We recently visited Ashville, NC. And this is our second trip. First time we were passing by and spent a day here exploring the downtown and cool eating places. To be honest it was a)Dobra Tea House b)Chai Pani that brought us here. We loved it so much that we decided we will make another trip and we did.

I believe that it was more than these two places that made us come back to Ashville. There was this T-shirt that I saw in one of the shops which read “If you are too weird for Ashville, then you are just too weird.” And I agree with this. Ashville residents are not hippie but almost hippie. Lot of people with braided hair and a very nonchalant air about them which comes with meditation or sometimes using other mood enhancing stuff. There is a certain newness in the air as you stroll down the streets. And the fact that the mountains around Ashville are vortex centers might have something to do with it. It’s like Sedona except this is actual city as opposed to tourist stop on your way to Grand Canyon.

Like all such places, Ashville is very open and diverse. In one of the cafes, SunnyPoint cafe restroom signs said “All Gender”. Most places had a sign saying that we welcome all, everybody with pictures of people from different races. And for a place to embrace this unanimously says something about the openness of the culture. If you lived only in Ashville all your life your world would be a lot different.

Ashville has a lot of sass to it – I cannot remember some of the comments but two that stand out are
-Indian restaurant had a sign outside: “Tikka look inside.”
-Sign on a t-shirt: “I don’t carrot at all.”
-The best of all – a different take on religions

The owner of the store who had some of the cool T-shirts recognized our Shiba right away – he was a dog breeder for rottweilers in his past life. People there are very friendly. We ran into this gentleman in dog park who had moved from Texas to Ashville fifteen years ago with his wife. He is a author and piano player and they have a B&B. We got into a very good discussion about writing, MFA etc.They also have this cute little bookshop called Battery Park Exchange which has lots of cute window seats for budding authors. While we enjoyed a cup of tea and carrot cake we saw many groups come and meet in there.

Variety of restaurants in a place is also a good sign of diversity – they had a Mediterranean place called BabaNahm, Thai place, Indian, french, Chinese, Vegan and regular comfort food. We couldn’t try all the places but they were all in the top of the list in TripAdvisor. And if this is not enough they also have a double decker bus from London that serves amazing coffee/desserts.

And last but not the least it is a very dog friendly place. Almost 99% of our conversations with strangers was because of Aki. And they have these cool trails for both humans and pets.

I enjoyed my trip to Ashville and it is a gem in North Carolina. I may be biased in my opinion but as they say “Each to his own.”

Right Path

Let’s take a scenario: You have a early morning meeting at work. And for some reason you slept late the previous night and woke up late. You forgot to make your lunch and it’s your turn to take the puppy out for a morning walk.

I am sure all of us have experienced the following scenarios
1.You work up feeling really great, early morning hour traffic was non existent, your husband decided to take the puppy out – things just flowed and it felt as if the universe was going out of its way to ensure you get to the meeting. And you reached your office in plenty of time and even managed to get Starbucks coffee on your way in.

2. You woke up feeling grumpy,not only you have to take the dog out but also drop him to the day care, and there was an accident on top of the rush hour traffic and by the time you reached office you had missed a couple of meetings and rest of the day was not looking that great either.

There are lots of other examples of being in the flow – when the mojo is just right. Like for one person the promotion was like a cakewalk where as for somebody it took them years. We have all had experiences where it felt as if you were making things happen and also when everything that could go wrong went wrong. And most of the times there is no direct connection between what you did to “deserve” one of the above options.

This is why I love the book “The Artist’s way” by Julia Cameron – she has a way of saying things very clearly and seems to touch a chord in almost all of us in some shape or form if we are ready for it.

If we are on the right track – the one that will make us a better human being then things will happen – timing might not be as we expected but they will. Even when we think the things are not happening as we want them – what is happening is what we exactly need. Like a kid who has a cold but refuses to take the medicine because its bitter but that’s exactly what the doctor ordered.

So then how can we make sure we are in the flow or on the right track. Let’s say you plant a seed of a Neem tree (a very bitter medicinal plant) and you stand in front of it and say “I want sweet mangoes, I want sweet mangoes.” There is no way you are going to get sweet mangoes – you will get bitter Neem leaves only. It is the law of nature – similarly if we plant bitter seeds in our life then we will bear bitter fruits and if plant good seeds then we will taste sweet mangoes in our life. [Credit of the story goes to Goenka Ji from Vipassana]

What are bitter and good seeds then? If we think kind thoughts,do good deeds, enjoy the success of others – these are examples of good seeds. And if we keep cursing others, calling them names when they are not looking or try to prove them wrong so that we can prove ourselves right, take joy in other’s plight then we are planting bitter seeds.

The picture below says it all

Golden Mean

When I was in London I took up Bikram Yoga and took it up with a vengeance – I went almost daily for two years until one day I decided it was too much and stopped doing yoga for six months. And now I practice Ashtanga Yoga at a more moderate pace. It is all about the golden mean – which means the ideal moderate position between two extremes.

Aristotle talks about morality but the golden mean can be applied to anything really. So we all know intellectually that yeah that makes sense. But the bigger and most important question is how do we go about getting to the golden mean. Each to his own – for me I have to know what my extremes are before I can find my middle.

This applies to everything – let’s say you are trying to work on communication skills – for example: How to remind somebody of something they need to do? You will start from your default style which let’s say is a direct approach. You go to the person and tell him, “Hey you missed the deadline on this – Which part of my instruction was not clear, eh? or you tell him, “Hey, sorry to bother you but do you know by any chance if you have had a chance to think about the deadline that was due this afternoon?”

Both of these statements and any variations will depend on a lot of situations like culture (are you in UK or Amsterdam?) or person you are dealing with (sensitive or driver). But in either case you start from somewhere and then refine and adjust. If you don’t then you will never improve your style – you will be stuck in your ways. And let’s say you adjust/refine yourself ones and then situation changes and you need to do it again. If you fail to refine yourself then you are inflexible.

The point here is we find our balance by trial and error method. All the experiences we have in our life are a means for us to find the balance. In most cases we just fight the issue or run away from it instead of using it as a vehicle for self improvement or to find our balance.

Why do we have to find our balance? Its a good question – we can be just as we are and go about our daily lives. Just like anything else this is a choice we make. What style suits us? and are we ready to deal with the consequences. For me personally the only life I have known is of constant change – so if things do not change after a while it feels weird but for some change is foreign. And I guess there is no right or wrong – it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want and what’s your personal style. But in order to find the personal style we have to experience things and welcome all situations, people that occur in our life with open arms.

Be a scientist and observer at the same time!

Bend with the wind

As some of you know I am a big time bookworm – fantasy being my favorite genre.I devour good books like there is no tomorrow. I recently read the Demon Cycle series by Peter V.Brett. Reason I like fantasy books is because they all have a spiritual, self-help base to them. The characters have to be grounded in something for them to do things which are beyond reality. So in this book they talked about the concept of being like a palm tree and bending with the wind. Letting it all go through you and opposed to blocking it. I love the idea.

I knew in the back of my mind that this happened with palm trees but after reading this I read up a bit more on Palm Trees. They are unique because they can bend all the way down to the ground without bending because of the way they are built internally and not only that it makes them stronger as their roots go further and become more stronger.

It sounds very practical too – “wind is coming and it is strong” what is point in standing. Wind doesn’t care and neither does anybody else. And it only makes the palm tree even stronger. But if the palm tree decided that it is going to show the wind how strong it is – it gets a deluded picture in its head that it is THE palm tree and is very important than all other trees and in order to maintain its respect, esteem it has to stand up to the wind – it will break.

We all do the same at some level for the other – we have delusions about our own grandeur, our own importance or sometimes it is very important for us to be right or be smarter than the rest. Keep in mind these are all delusions that we build in our head and hold them as gospels of the truth as time goes by.

There is nothing great about BEING RIGHT – right and wrong have been changing since the beginning of the world. At one point slavery was accepted now it is frowned upon. Our ancestors lived polygamous life and now for most cases it is frowned upon too. So who is to say that what you think is right today will still be right few years down the line. Why put so much energy into proving you are right or sticking up in the wind when you can strengthen yourself by bending.

Let’s say you are at a stop light in your car and it is green for you. But you can see another car coming at you with full speed. Now should you do the right thing and forge ahead – NO! because then you will be dead right. It is very clear in the car example but in our day to day interactions it is hard to notice. It is ok to do what you think is right but it is not the ultimate goal – is your ultimate goal to be right or is it to reach your final destination in a joyous manner.