Tag Archives: #humanity

What Matters Most!

Yesterday I stumbled upon some old hard drives from my London days and beyond. I ended up watching videos of events/moments/experiences that had a meant a lot to me at some point – and now are only memories.

My friend’s hen night, Mine and Adam’s dance performances, Dance parties in LBS… I remember all the hula-baloo around it. For example, the hen night party, it was essential to get them right, make sure we had fun, make sure that I could cater to our friends and also have something me and my friend liked. The entire world revolved around it for weeks. And I was so lost in it. There were many other events like that. It’s like I am possessed by a ghost ‘that’ event for that time.

When I watched those videos, there was nostalgia and the question ‘Who is that person?’ Part of me feels the emotional tug when I watch the videos, but another part of me does not recognize the person in those videos. It feels like aeons ago.

Something super important right now is no longer critical later. Is that life? What I am obsessed about now will no longer matter down the line? Then what does matter? And we come to the most pertinent question humanity has been asking for all these years – ‘What is the point of life?’

The answer lies between two extremes where one end states that life is meaningless, and the other end says that meaning is what makes life worthwhile. And of course Viktor Frankl in his famous book, ‘Man’s search for meaning’ states – it is what we make of it.

I believe that the statement ‘meaning of life’ has taken on a persona by itself. The words sound so big that the very phrase seems daunting. For the longest time ever, I tried to find my purpose in life until I got fed up and decided to live my life. What is the point of trying to find the meaning of life when we don’t even know how to live life?

Most of us live our lives in our head – we are always in the future or the past. Some of us waiting for something to happen or not happen. And some of us are waiting for the ‘NOW’ to pass. But life happens only at this moment. Like right now, you are reading the words on the screen – the life situation like promotion, kids, marriage, money does not matter at this moment. It does not mean that we never think about them, but it is worth asking ourselves if the amount of time we spend thinking – does it make sense?

Maybe it is time to live in the now MORE and think LESS. If we do that we will realize that life is of better quality and we have a wonderful life indeed filled with marvellous moment which is NOW, right now. Maybe humanity has a chance of moving onto the next stage of evolution.

Where are you NOW?

If Nature could speak…

I just finished a week of an exciting event called – Give Back Hack. It is an event where strangers come together and form teams around something they are passionate about – and then turn it into a working idea by the end of the weekend. And due to COVID this year it was a week-long event. And all events have to have a social impact.

I was not very keen on giving up an entire week when I started, but when I heard the pitches, I knew I was all in. There were a few ideas that caught my interest. The one I settled on was – making sustainability a way of life by getting individuals to pick a habit which reduces the carbon footprint in some fashion or other.

My team was a lovely bunch of folks. We got along really well, and we worked hard! To cut a long story short – we won the first prize and got what we asked for in terms of funding. What’s next? We will see.

The name of the company is called 3tree – feel free to check it out and please do leave us your details if you are interested. Or, even better pick up a habit.

It is amazing what happens when people get together at events like this – it’s like magic. Think about it, a week ago as far as I was concerned most of the team did not even exist. And the website that we created where almost 42 people signed up did not exist. And now it is an entity in its own right. How cool is that!

As most of you are aware – I am a true believer that change comes from within, and as an individual, you can lead from where you are. This is what fuels my passion for the environment. And a part of me feels like what we as humans are doing to planet earth and the environment is not right. We are taking unfair advantage of their goodness. Mother earth and nature – it is in their nature (pun intended) to give. And sadly, for humankind as a whole, it is in our nature to take. 

We, as humans, have the option to voice our feelings, hurt. But it is not the case for the trees which we cut down or the animals who are dying because of us. That weighs heavily on my mind. I feel guilty because I feel like I am in some ways responsible for it – and that is what drives my passion around the environment. 

If nature and mother earth could voice their opinions, it would be unbearable for us to listen to cries of pain and agony as they suffer the insanity called humans which has been inflicted upon them. Just because we cannot hear them does not mean there are no consequences.  

Balance is the way of life, and the scales will tip and what the world will look like is scary, to say the least, unless we do something now however little. 

What will you do?

What Are We Going To Do?

I am participating in a hackathon this week – called Give Back Hack. In essence, it’s about a group of strangers coming together to launch a business by the end of it. The caveat is that the company has to have a social impact. 

I chose to work with a team called – ‘Pay It Forward.’ 

Mission: Empower individuals to adopt a lifestyle and mindset to make sustainability a way of life by providing accessible habits and insight into their daily impacts and enabling them to pay it forward

Vision: Propagate Sustainable living by inspiring individuals to act and create a ripple effect in their communities

We plan to get people like you and me to pick one habit which will result in a sustainable lifestyle and stick to it for 21 days and then spread the word. Will the idea work? We certainly hope so.

Is it needed? YES, a resounding YES. As I have been researching on google and speaking to people, a part of me feels like maybe it is already too late for us to save the earth. Are we doomed to live in a world where existing habitats may become unhabitable? Will we live in a world where not all of us will have to access to drinking water or electricity or even food? Maybe all the dystopian movies are just a trailer of what’s to come.

One of the people I interviewed said something interesting – ‘That we have the technology, but capitalism is a fundamental problem.’ Since 90% of the world’s wealth is with 1% of the world’s population, not everybody may be able to access the technology that will enable the future.

And history is witness that money and power are called evil forces for a reason. How many of us reading the blog feel comfortable with giving away 50% of our monthly salary? Right. Working on this project has made me realize that something has to be done – appreciate what Greta Thunberg is trying to do and the urgency of it all. 

What it needs a change in consciousness. Human consciousness has to evolve, something which we have failed at miserably. Look at the bloodshed and wars if you don’t believe me. We never learn. We want more, and now that we have almost destroyed earth, we are starting ventures to see how we can repeat the same thing in outer space. 

The problem will not be solved by going elsewhere because the source of the problem is us, humans, humankind as a whole, each one of us as an individual. We have not experienced the oneness that is common amongst us. If we genuinely realized trees as 50% of our lungs or our fellow humans as an extension of us – we would have a completely different attitude about climate change.

How can that change be brought about? Be still – get to know yourself well, Breathe, meditate – see the world for what it is, an illusion. Will we be able to make it? Some of us will, and some of us won’t.

Which group are you a part of?

You can find it – NOW

Meditation, Spiritual, Journey, Self, Isha, Tolle, Yoga, Consciousness, Presence – these have become buzzwords today. Almost everybody I know is aware of these things even if they are not actively practising. There is an aura or mystery around the whole spiritual journey which feels to be very remote from our day to day lives. For an ordinary householder who has a family to feed, a job to go to this seems irrelevant or impractical. And also to some unattainable unless you are going to sacrifice everything in your life or become a monk.

The reality is – that is not the case. It does not matter who you are – your race, wealth, family, gender – none of it matters. Each one of us can achieve inner peace NOW.

Imagine a drop of water longing to be an ocean. It keeps saying that it is stuck in a river, and there is no way it can experience the vastness of the sea or feel its unfathomable depths. What we forget is that the very essence of the drop of water or an ocean or a river is H2O. If the drop of water realizes that – then the vastness/depth of the ocean will not matter as much. Now, I am aware that this sounds very esoteric so I will switch to other examples.

Have you ever watched a beautiful sunrise, or a rainbow or a lovely tree or a flower? Have you ever watched a beautiful bride and cried? Have you ever looked at a baby or a young child and felt indescribable joy? If, the answer to any of this is yes – then you have already experienced inner peace within you. It might have been for a tiny fraction of second, but you have. Eckhart Tolle says that without these kinds of spaces, we would go mad.

Or, let’s say you have wanted something a car, promotion, a bigger house and you get it. At that moment for a brief second, you are happy because at that moment you are fulfilled.

And you know why we cry or feel so much joy and peace – because at that moment we have no thought. We experience the situation for it is – nothing is lacking or added. The moment as it is perfect. And to be honest, that is all there is – the present moment, NOW. If we can increase the span of time, we feel that space of ‘no-thing’ or no thought we will live in joy.

You can actively, consciously become aware of such moments, or you can induce them as needed. Please take a look at anything around you, be your dog, house plant or leaf anything and look at it without labelling it, or interpreting it. You will experience no-thought for a microsecond which will turn into seconds, minutes, hours – and an entire lifetime. And you will notice that when you genuinely look/see/hear or experience something in this manner, it will become more beautiful, melodious.

If it weren’t possible, we wouldn’t be discussing it. A part of us wants the inner joy and peace – that is why we do what we do.

How will you find space today?

Hierarchy

Have you ever wondered why the CEO gets the corner office on the topmost floor? Have you ever wondered why everybody has to rise when Judge enters the room?

There is a distinct hierarchy everywhere – in hospitals, airports even in Restaurants: head chef and a sous chef, Pilot and a co-pilot, Doctor and a nurse.

It makes sense that the doctor does the operation, and the nurse has a supporting role, but it does not mean that the nurse’s job in any way inferior to the doctor’s job. I am sure nobody says this aloud but isn’t it implicit. We all grow up having a mental model around what is essential and what is not – who has power, and who does not? Principal versus the teacher in school. As a kid, nobody explained the org. Chart of the school to me, but it was evident to me that the Principal was at the top.

Just because somebody has a corner office or has more responsibilities or gets paid more does not mean that they are at the top of the food chain. We, humans, have a come a long way since our Stonehenge days in terms of technical and medical advances. But we have been unable to get rid of this hierarchical system – it is ingrained in us.

Ideally speaking every person in a company has a role and they get paid based on the risk they take (in most cases), instead of treating the CEO like any other role we have made it THE role. OK – so CEO makes the final decision, earns money, but he/she also carries the risk of the decision. Still, everybody underneath him plays an equally important role, then why does CEO role get biased attention.

I am not advocating that we do away with the entire reporting system. We do need some structure. But, do we need the associated superior/inferior label that people seem to attach to it. Just because I am somebody’s boss doesn’t mean I automatically get the best chair in the room or tea gets served me to first. All of this is an ego trip and has nothing to do with my job.

Undue importance to the superior roles creates an additional set of actions which add no value. All of a sudden, the boss becomes the person who can make or break your life. All the employees want to be in his good graces because he makes the call. Shouldn’t the decision be made on more objective measures than the whims and fancies of just one person? The role of that person is to serve not to rule. There is nothing wrong with ruling as long as there is no I involved. It is harder than said, but it needs to come from both sides. Boss needs to understand that its just a role that he is playing and the employees need to treat him/her accordingly.

How are you encouraging the hierarchy?

Competition

Adam and I were walking with Aki – our fabulous Shiba Inu pup one day. It was a hot summer day, and Aki was dragging his feet. We ran into another couple with their Shiba Inu pup. We exchanged notes, and they continued walking with their white Shiba Inu pup leading the way, happily bounding towards his home.

The minute they left, I turned to Aki and said, ‘What is wrong with you? Why cannot you also walk like the other Shiba Inu?’ Aki made no move from the shade of the tree, but I realized that I might no longer live in India, but the competitive spirit that Asians/Indians have hasn’t left me.

Did you know that for the last decade or so the National Spelling Bee championship has been won by Indians (Second Generation)? I shared this fun fact with a few people and let’s see what their reaction was

Adam (My husband): Laughter mixed with – what am I not getting here?
American Friend: Polite ‘hehe’ and then move on to the next topic
American Friend: Confusion – no clear on the context (Awkard)
Indian Friends: Laughter with a clear reflection of empathy in their faces
Indian Parents: Sigh with a deep understanding of the motivation

There is so much cultural context in the statement that even we as Indians will not be able to articulate it. A child is born in India with the knowledge that he/she is competing with the billion other people.

When I gave my 10th grade and 12th-grade exams, nobody said it, but I knew that if I do not well, then the world will end. Imagine a hundred thousand(s) kids write the entrance exam for engineering and only the top 1% get admission. If you got 99.7%, you missed the cut-off, and you are a failure. Nobody told me growing up that this is how the system works, but I understood it loud and clear. It is only now in hindsight when I try to understand why I am so competitive that I articulated it. However gruelling it may sound I learnt a lot and a part of loves the thrill, hard work, anxiety and anticipation.

Well, so now I know why I am competitive, and I accept that this is who I am. I am one of those people who will look for the next thing – Stay Hungry, Stay foolish. Will this last forever – who knows? The important thing is I accept my competitive nature as who I am for now. And being competitive is not a bad thing as long as it is not a compulsion but a choice. If you are competing with everybody over everything, it is unsustainable – I tried. What do you think made me wonder why I was so competitive in the first place, eh? But, if it is a choice, then it brings out the best in me – and that is my motto in life. Be a better version of myself every day.

What are your compulsions? And do they need to be choices?

I Cannot Stop – Can You?

‘Stay hungry, Stay foolish’ is a quote from Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford in the year 2005. 

As per Quora, it means that one should never be content with what is, nor consider oneself an expert. There is always more to do/gain (“stay hungry” for knowledge) and more to learn (“stay foolish“, meaning never consider oneself an expert but a fool to learn more).

There are two kinds of people – those who look for the next challenge and those who are content with where they are. There is no right or wrong type – it’s a personal preference. For some, it is a way of life. 

For example, I love to challenge myself – I am a doer. I am one of those people who get the butterflies before doing something challenging – lose themselves while doing it – look for another one when its complete. 

For the longest time ever, I never knew this is what I did until I met somebody in my team who was perfectly happy doing the same role they are doing forever. Once I became aware of it, I wondered why I am the way I am. 

This year so far, I published a book, got two certifications at work – finished a couple of tight timelines driven projects and I am still rearing to go. I have this intense desire in me to do – challenge myself. I do get bored very quickly, as well. If it is routine, then I have to work extra hard to motivate myself. 

A lot of people would describe me as being ambitious. And there was a point when I took offence to it – not anymore. I have learnt to accept who I am and use them as strengths and bring awareness on how it can be a weakness as well. We all have qualities which could be a strength or a weakness. There are two sides to a coin always. There is still another side of the story. 

I realized that by not accepting who I am, including my flaws and imperfections, I was cutting away parts of myself. The hardest thing for me to accept was – ‘I am Human. Being human is being imperfect. May I be kind to me.’ This is the tenet of self-compassion, which is loving yourself. 

And a poem I had read a long time ago has always haunted me, and now I am beginning to understand what it might mean. It is a poem by Derek Walcott.

Have you spoken to the stranger that is you?

A Select Few

There is a lot of news about the suicide of the Bollywood Actor – Sushant Singh Rajput. It has raised questions on the powerful few who own most of the industry – which movies make it, who is the hero etc. Soon after that, there was another post from a singer stating that it is the same state in the music industry – a select few make the choices. In the retail sector, a few own all the Malls and hence dictate the rents for the stores.

Hence the name Mafia/Cabal etc. The dictionary meaning of Cabal is – ‘a secret political clique or faction’ and dictionary meaning of Mafia is – ‘a closed group of people in a particular field, having a controlling influence’.

What all these examples share is the Pareto principle (80/20). The Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 rule, states that for many phenomena, 80% of the result comes from 20% of the effort. The principle has been named after Vilfredo Pareto—an Italian economist—who, back in 1895, noticed that about 80% of Italy’s land belonged to 20% of the country’s population. 

In the cases mentioned above, cabals are 20% of the population that holds 80% of the Power. Is this right? Is this how things should be?

Unfortunately, there is not a straight answer. Before we solution lets understand Power. How many you cringed when you read the word Power? How many of you have a negative connotation with the word Power? If you search the internet, watch movies – they will send the message that Power is a bad thing.

1st Baron Action even had a quote for this – ‘Power tends to corrupt, and absolute Power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men…’ 

I recently read the ‘One Minute Manager’, and there is a quote in there which talks about – ‘The sole advantage of Power is the ability to do more good. Thus, if you want to do more good for yourself and more good for the people around you, it is important to learn how to tap into your points of Power.’

Power by itself is neutral – it is how you use it defines it. And honestly, you do need some Power to make changes.

In the previous examples – if all the stores got together and said these are the rents we want – the mall owners cannot do anything. If all the actors/directors boycotted the select few – the producers will have to change their view. If all the nerds and average children in the class got together against the bullies then – there will be no cliques. 

What we forget is that they might be 20%, but we are the remaining 80%. We have the majority of Power – but most of us are selfish. We look out for us, and our closed ones and the 20% take advantage of that. And for this not to happen, each one of us needs to realize our Power – work on ourselves, raise our awareness so that we can use our Power for good.

How will you use your Power today?

More Than Before

Before 2020 I was living my regular routine – going to work, getting things done and accomplishing the goals I had set for myself. I also spent a considerable amount of time with Wild Tiger Tees. Wild Tiger Tees is a social enterprise which Adam, I and three of our friends formed. Our mission is to empower youth experiencing homelessness through the art of screen printing. And as a part of it, we interacted with youth experiencing homelessness – most of them ‘not’ surprisingly were black. Adam and I had tons of discussion about generational poverty, how black are disadvantaged economically. We had debates, we talked about and then got back into the routine.

Cut to this year – 2020 which will go down in history as a remarkable year and the year is not over yet.

This year started with rumblings of Coronavirus in China, which I ignored brushing it off as something that will come and disappear. And then slowly in March, we began Work From Home. The reality had not sunk in then. Sixty days in – I realized that this is momentous. A single virus – COVID-19 had a global impact. Most of the world was working from home – who would have thought. We all have a tolerance limit, and dealing with coronavirus took some of it. For some more than others – like people who lost their jobs, it impacted them more than the rest. There were a lot of people who were/are unemployed, and that causes a sense of unrest. Even though the nature around us was a gentle hush – there were rumblings.

And then George Floyd was killed by police brutality.

It further increased our anxiety and reduced our tolerance limit. For some people that was it – the maximum they could take. For me – I admit that I am unable to brush this off as a discussion topic – Social injustice and racism. It took more screen space in my daily routine than the debates we had. My awareness of this topic has heightened that I cannot juast brush it off. And it bothered me that we lived in a society in which this could happen. And this led to a desire to act – do something. I signed petitions, donated money, wrote blogs – more than discussions or debates.

‘Doing More’. And I see it reflected everywhere – Sales of the book – ‘White Fragility by Robin DeAngelo’ and ‘How to be an anti-racist by Ibram X Kendi’ have gone up significantly. My company Nationwide did a public show of unity by kneeling in silence in downtown today. All the leaders spoke about what they are doing personally – being more thoughtful – teaching kids – speak up more – be an ally to our black/coloured friends – donate more money. Most corporates have publicly declared that they do not stand for racial injustice. Minneapolis has done away with the existing police structure and is embarking on a new way to police themselves.

I hope that this change lasts for me and does not get overtaken by my regular routine. We all hope that this will lead to lasting change – it took the pandemic and an event like George Floyd for a slight increase in global consciousness – that is a big step for humanity. Hope it continues and in the future becomes the norm until there are no native Americans or African-Americans or Indian Americans but just Americans or even better JUST HUMANS.

Innocent – Are You?

A few days ago, NASA launched astronauts to the space station. And a few days ago George Floyd was killed as a result of police brutality or racial injustice as some of us would say it.

Somebody in your team made a mistake, and you tell that person it’s ok – this is the time to offer grace and show some self-love. You come home and end up eating an entire bar of chocolate and beat yourself up.

There are people like Sri M, Sadhguru who are looking to lead us towards higher consciousness and we have a few people in this world who need not be named who are trying to the do the opposite.

What I am trying to say through these examples is that all these realities exist simultaneously. Humankind is on the verge of making robots real, whereas at the same time, we are not able to see some of our peer humans as real.

Has this kind of a spectrum always existed? Is there a reason why this spectrum exists? I honestly do not have an answer for this – not even an intellectual or a logical one which makes sense. Except that maybe it takes everybody to make this world, there is a reason behind everything whether we like it or not.

Right now, there is a lot of anger around George Floyd; emotions are running high. A white policeman killed a black man. And everybody is angry at the white policeman while expressing sympathy towards the black man. The question I want to pose is who is responsible for the white policeman’s behaviour. Haven’t we all created a society in which it was acceptable for this to happen? We can all say – I don’t do this. I wasn’t a part of it. But you know what – we all are. We let this happen collectively as a society, and that is on us too. It is not fair to blame the white policeman 100%. We have looked past so many items that they have become routine for us until something significant like George Floyd happens. Most of us turn a blind eye to it – consciously or unconsciously.

There are a lot of things that we ignore because we do not know how to deal with it or we do not have the time, or we are too selfish. The homeless person on the street when you are in your car. The little girl who was begging for money when you stop at the lights. When your co-worker makes an inappropriate comment, and you let it slide. When we ignore a bunch of young guys eve-teasing a girl.

If we all acted and did something about these minor things, maybe they won’t go out of control. It requires all of us, including me, to have the courage and awareness all the time. It needs me to be mindful of not only me but also people around me. It means I have to tune into how others are feeling so that I can respond with the ability I have.

Maybe this is the universe’s way of jolting us into the new consciousness which we all need to evolve into – for us to survive.