Tag Archives: #grow

Togetherness – Makes Sense

I love solitude, the difference between being lonely and alone. Nature and a crowded city both let me be – which is why I find them both very soothing to my soul. I enjoy watching movies alone, eating by myself, going to cafes on my own. Best of all, I like to travel alone because nobody knows me and I do not have to behave or worry about what other people think about me. I feel like I am invisible there and merge with the background.

However, that said there are times when a family, companionship or community makes life a tad more enjoyable. So today was the festival of lights – Diwali, India. For as long as I can remember it was a day I looked forward to because I would do fireworks, eat incredible mom-cooked food and wear nice clothes.

I can do these by myself but what is missing the social or the community aspect of it. In India, people start shopping for Diwali weeks before, mom (and aunties) start cooking days ago. On the day of Diwali and days leading up to it – there is a constant stream of fireworks going off somewhere in the local area. And there is that subtle smell of fireworks in the air. I cannot regenerate the experience on my own. I can have youtube videos that mimick it, but it’s not the real thing.

I remember as a kid going to all our neighbour’s houses with a box filled with goodies that my mom cooked and coming back home with the goodies from their house. I remember chatting with the other kids about what kind of fireworks they had or even watching each other as we let rockets or bombs off. I remember the nervousness every time I would light a cracker with the incense and throw it off before it bursts.

That is why some things are best shared – as long as everybody celebrates it, we still get the vibe. And that is why celebrating Diwali in any other place other than India feels weird. It is not the same – it feels like a good mimicry of what was.

It is hard to explain to others – it’s like celebrating Thanksgiving in London, nobody else is. And that is why the saying, ‘Do in Rome as Romans do.’ Maybe that is why we have the tradition of these festivals in all cultures. And that is also why we do not have too many of them. Because once in a while, it is good, but if this were an everyday occurrence, our usual differences would crop up and not create such a unique experience.

Somethings we treasure because they do come along only so often. The spirit of togetherness that feels so good in Diwali exists every day – we do not know how to tap into it because we think we are separate from others. The day we realize we are all one – every moment would be Diwali eternally.

Do you believe we are one?

Time For Upgrade?

Let’s start with THE NEWS of the day. Biden has won the elections in the United States of America today. Depending on which side you support, you are either relieved or disappointed. For the most part majority of the population is happy that the election rigmarole is all behind us. A few of my peers, friends and even my husband had a few rough nights with the stress of vote counting dragging on.

The techie in me wonders in this day and age why are we still operating in such a manual fashion. How hard is it to develop software that lets you vote online? With fingerprinting, iris scanning, face recognition and numerous ways to recognize an individual – it should be reasonably straightforward for software developers to come up with a digital voting system. Think about the benefits – no paper, much less labour, people can vote from the comfort of their homes AND faster results and probably more accurate. And for people who do not have that facility, we can use cyber cafes, mobiles. Yes, I understand that there is the threat of hacking, but the threat exists now with claims about social media influencing voters anyways.

This leads to me think about the interview on antitrust hearing that big tech CEO’s had to go through, which also highlighted their limited understanding of technology. For example, how they confused Twitter with Facebook in this interview short. Some would say that even a child would know the difference between Facebook and Twitter. I know other snafus happened before as well. 

Given that importance of technology in our lives today – we are truly headed to a digital age. How that age will pan out, we will have to see. But, the question is the governing bodies around the world capable of leading us in that age? Do they have enough understanding to make and pass laws/policies about technology? Most, importantly will they make decisions that impact the population of this world, keeping the tech lens in their radar?

I will leave you to make your own decisions – I do not have to spell it out. For most of the jobs in the entire world be it a janitor or a teacher or a VP or a CEO – there are basic qualifications you have to satisfy before you can even apply. But, for politics, there is no basic set of qualifications. I know of politicians in India who are not even that highly educated but rule their state and are a part of the governing body.

Now, the people sitting in these seats have to pass the law about themselves. How many of them will be willing to pass a law that says unless they clear these technical exams they cannot govern? There is a disconnect between the governance structure and the rest of the world. I do wonder, would we have thought about Coronovirus differently if we had a different set of mindset and attitude in the governments around the world?

What do you think – Is it time for Government 2.0?

What’s in a name?

One’s progress in childhood is marked by how soon you can answer the question, ‘What’s your name?’ And if you are also aware of your parent’s names – you are going places.

As a newborn baby, you are utilizing your five senses to the fullest. Your understanding of your mom is through the smell, touch, voice, visual and also how you feel. Your knowledge of the entire world is based on sense perceptions. When the kid reaches the eighteen-month mark, the mind becomes active and wants to know everything. And that’s when the mind takes over.

The mind knows the object on the side of the road is a tree. But it knows it only as a name – and it’s perceived understanding of what a tree is. We never ask the child how does a tree sound like? What does the tree feel like? I am sure some of you are wondering what kind of stupid questions are these. A tree can be a lesson in life itself. It lets go of its leaves when its fall without clinging to them. It faces storms, rains and gales with the same equanimity. They clean the air without wanting anything in return. These aspects also equally make up a tree and are more meaningful than the four-letter word we have reduced trees to in today’s world.

Think about all the other things we have reduced to their lettered names. The rose, sears tower, sea, ocean, individuals – in fact, in today’s world, you can google anything and feel like you know it all. Our minds may read and memorize the entire encyclopedia, but without experience, it means nothing. I understand that some things are good to learn like how do stoplights work or how to drive a car? But they are a minority when you come to think of it. It’s like we are unable to go beyond naming something.

Why is this important? Because it can help keep our minds in control. Like anything else in this world – if we overuse our mind, then we are in trouble. Minds are just tools to help us function in the world, but in today’s world, we are ruled by our minds. The collective human mind governs society. We believe every thought that arises in our mind instead of watching it as it appears and let it go. In the watching lies the choice on whether to act or not based on the thought.

We have forgotten that NO THOUGHT matters absolutely. What matters is the space in which the thought arises. And once you are rooted in that space, all decisions you make from that space will be of higher quality than the one you make based on your mind. Because a mind is a tool and like a hammer, the only thing it sees everywhere is a nail.

We are human beings who are having a spiritual experience and minds help us navigate the physical realm. Isn’t it time we ruled the minds?

What is your relationship with the mind?

What Am I Going To Do With My Life?

I just finished watching, ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ on Netflix, based on a novel by Walter Tevis. To summarize, it’s about an orphan who is a chess prodigy and how she battles the demons of her mother’s death and wins at chess – dealing with drugs, addiction, loneliness.

It is quite thrilling for a movie about chess. It took all of my will power to restrain myself my googling the ending or moving the cursor forward. What caught my attention was the statement by her adorable friend Jolene who says, ‘Girl, you have been the best at what you do for so long that you do not even know what it is like for the rest for us.’

And I also recall a video from Brene Brown where she says that in today’s world all of us want to be the best. And in a room full of people – if you apply the law of averages it is not possible. All of us cannot be the best, and this means only some of us will be the best and not that rest of us are not the best. This is where society’s fixation on the top three or five has skewed the entire world.

I want to speak to the person who first introduced the concept of first and attached so much importance to it that is outright silly or illogical. My litmus test these days is to ask myself, ‘What would an alien say?’ And if an alien did come to earth, sat through all the games – regional, quarter-finals, semi-finals and finals – and saw that people only spoke about the person who came first – what would his response be.

He would be flabbergasted – it’s like preparing for a hundred-mile walk and only talking about the last step across the winning line. He would probably laugh saying that we have missed the point of the race or the walk or the competition or even LIFE. We focus only on 1% of the life which society shines a light on – what about the 99% which is us. Sadly for most of us, we never get to discover what is essential for us. Most of us go through the life trying to live the life we believe we chose BUT believe it or not society – our unconsciousness had a big role to play in it.

Don’t believe me – then tell me one thing in your life that you would do even if you were penniless. If you can think of one – good, I commend you for maintaining sanity in the mad world. Let me ask you this – would you still do that one thing if no one was watching?

That is the litmus test – what matters most to you? The journey or the end or both. And to find out what ONLY YOU are best at – let life flow through you – be life and then the question – what am I going to do with my life DOES NOT MATTER.

Will you be one with life and let it flow through you?

What Matters Most!

Yesterday I stumbled upon some old hard drives from my London days and beyond. I ended up watching videos of events/moments/experiences that had a meant a lot to me at some point – and now are only memories.

My friend’s hen night, Mine and Adam’s dance performances, Dance parties in LBS… I remember all the hula-baloo around it. For example, the hen night party, it was essential to get them right, make sure we had fun, make sure that I could cater to our friends and also have something me and my friend liked. The entire world revolved around it for weeks. And I was so lost in it. There were many other events like that. It’s like I am possessed by a ghost ‘that’ event for that time.

When I watched those videos, there was nostalgia and the question ‘Who is that person?’ Part of me feels the emotional tug when I watch the videos, but another part of me does not recognize the person in those videos. It feels like aeons ago.

Something super important right now is no longer critical later. Is that life? What I am obsessed about now will no longer matter down the line? Then what does matter? And we come to the most pertinent question humanity has been asking for all these years – ‘What is the point of life?’

The answer lies between two extremes where one end states that life is meaningless, and the other end says that meaning is what makes life worthwhile. And of course Viktor Frankl in his famous book, ‘Man’s search for meaning’ states – it is what we make of it.

I believe that the statement ‘meaning of life’ has taken on a persona by itself. The words sound so big that the very phrase seems daunting. For the longest time ever, I tried to find my purpose in life until I got fed up and decided to live my life. What is the point of trying to find the meaning of life when we don’t even know how to live life?

Most of us live our lives in our head – we are always in the future or the past. Some of us waiting for something to happen or not happen. And some of us are waiting for the ‘NOW’ to pass. But life happens only at this moment. Like right now, you are reading the words on the screen – the life situation like promotion, kids, marriage, money does not matter at this moment. It does not mean that we never think about them, but it is worth asking ourselves if the amount of time we spend thinking – does it make sense?

Maybe it is time to live in the now MORE and think LESS. If we do that we will realize that life is of better quality and we have a wonderful life indeed filled with marvellous moment which is NOW, right now. Maybe humanity has a chance of moving onto the next stage of evolution.

Where are you NOW?

If Nature could speak…

I just finished a week of an exciting event called – Give Back Hack. It is an event where strangers come together and form teams around something they are passionate about – and then turn it into a working idea by the end of the weekend. And due to COVID this year it was a week-long event. And all events have to have a social impact.

I was not very keen on giving up an entire week when I started, but when I heard the pitches, I knew I was all in. There were a few ideas that caught my interest. The one I settled on was – making sustainability a way of life by getting individuals to pick a habit which reduces the carbon footprint in some fashion or other.

My team was a lovely bunch of folks. We got along really well, and we worked hard! To cut a long story short – we won the first prize and got what we asked for in terms of funding. What’s next? We will see.

The name of the company is called 3tree – feel free to check it out and please do leave us your details if you are interested. Or, even better pick up a habit.

It is amazing what happens when people get together at events like this – it’s like magic. Think about it, a week ago as far as I was concerned most of the team did not even exist. And the website that we created where almost 42 people signed up did not exist. And now it is an entity in its own right. How cool is that!

As most of you are aware – I am a true believer that change comes from within, and as an individual, you can lead from where you are. This is what fuels my passion for the environment. And a part of me feels like what we as humans are doing to planet earth and the environment is not right. We are taking unfair advantage of their goodness. Mother earth and nature – it is in their nature (pun intended) to give. And sadly, for humankind as a whole, it is in our nature to take. 

We, as humans, have the option to voice our feelings, hurt. But it is not the case for the trees which we cut down or the animals who are dying because of us. That weighs heavily on my mind. I feel guilty because I feel like I am in some ways responsible for it – and that is what drives my passion around the environment. 

If nature and mother earth could voice their opinions, it would be unbearable for us to listen to cries of pain and agony as they suffer the insanity called humans which has been inflicted upon them. Just because we cannot hear them does not mean there are no consequences.  

Balance is the way of life, and the scales will tip and what the world will look like is scary, to say the least, unless we do something now however little. 

What will you do?

What Are We Going To Do?

I am participating in a hackathon this week – called Give Back Hack. In essence, it’s about a group of strangers coming together to launch a business by the end of it. The caveat is that the company has to have a social impact. 

I chose to work with a team called – ‘Pay It Forward.’ 

Mission: Empower individuals to adopt a lifestyle and mindset to make sustainability a way of life by providing accessible habits and insight into their daily impacts and enabling them to pay it forward

Vision: Propagate Sustainable living by inspiring individuals to act and create a ripple effect in their communities

We plan to get people like you and me to pick one habit which will result in a sustainable lifestyle and stick to it for 21 days and then spread the word. Will the idea work? We certainly hope so.

Is it needed? YES, a resounding YES. As I have been researching on google and speaking to people, a part of me feels like maybe it is already too late for us to save the earth. Are we doomed to live in a world where existing habitats may become unhabitable? Will we live in a world where not all of us will have to access to drinking water or electricity or even food? Maybe all the dystopian movies are just a trailer of what’s to come.

One of the people I interviewed said something interesting – ‘That we have the technology, but capitalism is a fundamental problem.’ Since 90% of the world’s wealth is with 1% of the world’s population, not everybody may be able to access the technology that will enable the future.

And history is witness that money and power are called evil forces for a reason. How many of us reading the blog feel comfortable with giving away 50% of our monthly salary? Right. Working on this project has made me realize that something has to be done – appreciate what Greta Thunberg is trying to do and the urgency of it all. 

What it needs a change in consciousness. Human consciousness has to evolve, something which we have failed at miserably. Look at the bloodshed and wars if you don’t believe me. We never learn. We want more, and now that we have almost destroyed earth, we are starting ventures to see how we can repeat the same thing in outer space. 

The problem will not be solved by going elsewhere because the source of the problem is us, humans, humankind as a whole, each one of us as an individual. We have not experienced the oneness that is common amongst us. If we genuinely realized trees as 50% of our lungs or our fellow humans as an extension of us – we would have a completely different attitude about climate change.

How can that change be brought about? Be still – get to know yourself well, Breathe, meditate – see the world for what it is, an illusion. Will we be able to make it? Some of us will, and some of us won’t.

Which group are you a part of?

You can find it – NOW

Meditation, Spiritual, Journey, Self, Isha, Tolle, Yoga, Consciousness, Presence – these have become buzzwords today. Almost everybody I know is aware of these things even if they are not actively practising. There is an aura or mystery around the whole spiritual journey which feels to be very remote from our day to day lives. For an ordinary householder who has a family to feed, a job to go to this seems irrelevant or impractical. And also to some unattainable unless you are going to sacrifice everything in your life or become a monk.

The reality is – that is not the case. It does not matter who you are – your race, wealth, family, gender – none of it matters. Each one of us can achieve inner peace NOW.

Imagine a drop of water longing to be an ocean. It keeps saying that it is stuck in a river, and there is no way it can experience the vastness of the sea or feel its unfathomable depths. What we forget is that the very essence of the drop of water or an ocean or a river is H2O. If the drop of water realizes that – then the vastness/depth of the ocean will not matter as much. Now, I am aware that this sounds very esoteric so I will switch to other examples.

Have you ever watched a beautiful sunrise, or a rainbow or a lovely tree or a flower? Have you ever watched a beautiful bride and cried? Have you ever looked at a baby or a young child and felt indescribable joy? If, the answer to any of this is yes – then you have already experienced inner peace within you. It might have been for a tiny fraction of second, but you have. Eckhart Tolle says that without these kinds of spaces, we would go mad.

Or, let’s say you have wanted something a car, promotion, a bigger house and you get it. At that moment for a brief second, you are happy because at that moment you are fulfilled.

And you know why we cry or feel so much joy and peace – because at that moment we have no thought. We experience the situation for it is – nothing is lacking or added. The moment as it is perfect. And to be honest, that is all there is – the present moment, NOW. If we can increase the span of time, we feel that space of ‘no-thing’ or no thought we will live in joy.

You can actively, consciously become aware of such moments, or you can induce them as needed. Please take a look at anything around you, be your dog, house plant or leaf anything and look at it without labelling it, or interpreting it. You will experience no-thought for a microsecond which will turn into seconds, minutes, hours – and an entire lifetime. And you will notice that when you genuinely look/see/hear or experience something in this manner, it will become more beautiful, melodious.

If it weren’t possible, we wouldn’t be discussing it. A part of us wants the inner joy and peace – that is why we do what we do.

How will you find space today?

YES to the moment

Saying YES to the moment is a buzzword these days. Surrender to what is will ring true if you are on a spiritual or self-growth path. And like anything profound and straightforward – we have managed to complicate it because we think with our minds. Our mind is flawed when it comes to more profound things in life because it operates only at the physical level.

How have we managed to complicate the simple YES to the moment?

SCENARIO 1: Let’s say you are in a difficult situation. Let’s say a bully is about to beat the daylights out of you. Or, your boss has done something that you fundamentally disagree with. Or, your colleague has made an offhand remark about you.

Saying yes to the moment does not mean that you let the comment that your colleague made go. You don’t like what your boss did, but you are going to accept the moment as it is and move on. Or, you are going to let the bully beat you.

What it means is you see the reality as it is. Your peer has uttered a bunch of words, and it bothers you. Accept that this has happened. You make a call on whether you are going to act or not. Be still and let the right action arise within you. Saying YES enables you to see the situation as it is and then act accordingly with better quality.

SCENARIO 2: You have lost your entire wealth in the stock market crash. Your wife has also left you. You have nothing left – no house, no car, nothing. You are sitting on a bench and contemplating your life.

Accepting the moment as it does not mean that you tell yourself, ‘I should accept that I am a loser. I made bad decisions in life, and now I have to suffer. I was a bad husband, and hence my wife left me.’ This is not accepting the moment; this is creating a story (not real) and making it real.

Accepting the moment is – acknowledging that you are sitting on a bench with five dollars in your pocket. You have nothing in your bank, and your wife wants a divorce. And you take action from here.

It is quite simple. Now, let me also say that accepting the moment does not mean that you do not learn lessons. You do, now you have another data point on investing in the stock market, behaving in the workplace or how to be a better husband.

We have become slaves to our mind instead of being the master. Minds are tools that are supposed to used as appropriate. That is why it is so complicated – mind (our ego) wants to make a story, predict the future, pass judgements—everything except being in the moment because it is painful and honestly quite boring.

What do you find more exciting? The guy who lost all his wealth or he is on a bench with five dollars.

How will you change the way you say YES to the moment?

Thinker or Observer?

“I certainly do not think. Hence, I hear the words that come out of my mouth at the same time as you hear them. This means that there is nobody teaching anybody here.”

This is what Eckhart Tolle says to his audience in one of his retreats. It is funny when you hear it the first time. Here is a great spiritual teacher, and he is saying, ‘I have no idea what is going to come out of my mouth.’ 

Isn’t that scary? Imagine going to a meeting and not being prepared – the agony of not knowing what you are going to say next. How will you prove you are smart unless you can give a more intelligent answer or retort in a conversation.

We do not exist because we THINK – wary of the quote if you are looking for inner peace.

Eckhart’s answer to this is – If he is still, and indeed present then a better quality answer will arise. He has a strong belief that words will arise when he needs. Most importantly, he is not uncomfortable with silence. What does he mean by being present? 

We have two modes of operation – a) thinker and b) observer. For most of us, we are so engrossed in the thinker that we never observe. And if you are always in that mode then you are not truly present to what you are hearing/seeing/feeling – hence it will be a reaction and a lower quality one. 

Watch the thinker and you are operating at a higher level of consciousness

But if you are in the observing mode of operation, then you are in tune with the reality as it is. You hear the words, listen to the sounds, see without any interpretation or labels. As an observer, you are positioned to take the right action if any is needed, and it will be of a higher quality.

How will this play out in real life?

  1. You are with a group of friends talking about guys. Your friend comments that the guy likes X person. You also like the same guy. 
    1. THINKER: Man! I knew it, X is annoying why cannot she keep away that guy. She is much prettier and thinner – I stand no chance.
    2. OBSERVER: She said, ‘Guy likes X.’
  2. You are talking to somebody at the office. She is going on and on about how exciting her new role is. She just got a promotion, is expanding her team by 50%. She got a full-time admin.
    1. THINKER: She is so lucky! Nothing ever works out for me. Why don’t I get promoted? Maybe I am not good enough. Will I ever succeed in life?
    2. OBSERVER: She is telling me she has got a promotion, is expanding her team.

NOTE: As a thinker, you can think positive thoughts as well, but regardless you are creating a story in your head.

Can you see how as a thinker, your actions will be driven by baseless (unreal) thoughts or stories? And as an observer, there is no need to do anything – listen to the words and let them pass.

This practice is not easy because if we identify with the observer, thinker feels threatened, and he comes up with ‘Important’ thoughts.

REMEMBER: Nothing matters absolutely – all thoughts are a bunch of letters put together. They arise and always pass away.