Tag Archives: #Goldenmean

Why Is It So Hard?

Have you ever seen somebody do tightrope walking? They are very alert every moment when they are walking on the rope. And they should be as their life depends on it, literally. Whereas on either ends or the extremes they are more relaxed. Even after a lot of experience, they might get better at tightrope, but it still warrants the same attention every second, every time.

Goenka Ji during ten-day Vipassana meditation retreat repeatedly tells us that the idea is to move from gross sensations towards subtle sensations. He also asks to maintain continuous awareness of sensations. It is effortless to become aware of an intense sensation like headache, stomach pain, but very difficult to be mindful of the subtle sensations like at the tip of the nose.

Every year for the past decade I have kicked off the year with a hard reset like doing a ten-day or a twenty-day master cleanse – which is a liquid diet (yup, that’s right no solids at all) or I have done the raw vegan diet. After such a hard reset, it is challenging for my body to switch into unhealthy eating habits. This year for reasons unknown I decided not to do a detox, instead chose to eat in moderation.

What I found is that it is straightforward for me to go without eating any solids for twenty days but very difficult to eat every meal in moderation. Why is it? Only because it requires continues awareness like the tightrope walker walking on the rope. And extremes are natural for me because there is an end in sight whereas in eating in moderation – it is a lifestyle thing. And it requires a different muscle to run a sprint than a marathon.

All these years, I have used bursts of will power to do the hard resets, but it requires a different usage of will power to exercise it every meal — something which I have not developed a practice for or quite frankly harboured a desire for. I have lived my life in extremes and been proud of it too. Why the switch to the golden mean?

I like to challenge myself, and I know that I can do any of the detox diets without any issues. So, maybe it does not excite me anymore? Perhaps the desire to challenge me by eating in moderation seems hard – another milestone to achieve (which will be a lifelong one?). Last but not least, maybe I have gained enough wisdom to understand that moderation is the key. For example, in the Aristotelian view, courage is a virtue, but if taken to excess would manifest as recklessness, and, in deficiency, cowardice.

And this is more fundamental to the way I live my life and not restricted to food. Moderation in life is the habit or challenge. The same muscle that will help me eat moderately will help me watch TV shows in moderation.

Can I do it? Let’s see. Unlike a twenty-day cleanse, there is no end in sight on this path. Maybe, when I have truly mastered the art of moderation, I will not seek the end of the path?

How will you practice moderation?

Golden Mean

When I was in London I took up Bikram Yoga and took it up with a vengeance – I went almost daily for two years until one day I decided it was too much and stopped doing yoga for six months. And now I practice Ashtanga Yoga at a more moderate pace. It is all about the golden mean – which means the ideal moderate position between two extremes.

Aristotle talks about morality but the golden mean can be applied to anything really. So we all know intellectually that yeah that makes sense. But the bigger and most important question is how do we go about getting to the golden mean. Each to his own – for me I have to know what my extremes are before I can find my middle.

This applies to everything – let’s say you are trying to work on communication skills – for example: How to remind somebody of something they need to do? You will start from your default style which let’s say is a direct approach. You go to the person and tell him, “Hey you missed the deadline on this – Which part of my instruction was not clear, eh? or you tell him, “Hey, sorry to bother you but do you know by any chance if you have had a chance to think about the deadline that was due this afternoon?”

Both of these statements and any variations will depend on a lot of situations like culture (are you in UK or Amsterdam?) or person you are dealing with (sensitive or driver). But in either case you start from somewhere and then refine and adjust. If you don’t then you will never improve your style – you will be stuck in your ways. And let’s say you adjust/refine yourself ones and then situation changes and you need to do it again. If you fail to refine yourself then you are inflexible.

The point here is we find our balance by trial and error method. All the experiences we have in our life are a means for us to find the balance. In most cases we just fight the issue or run away from it instead of using it as a vehicle for self improvement or to find our balance.

Why do we have to find our balance? Its a good question – we can be just as we are and go about our daily lives. Just like anything else this is a choice we make. What style suits us? and are we ready to deal with the consequences. For me personally the only life I have known is of constant change – so if things do not change after a while it feels weird but for some change is foreign. And I guess there is no right or wrong – it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want and what’s your personal style. But in order to find the personal style we have to experience things and welcome all situations, people that occur in our life with open arms.

Be a scientist and observer at the same time!