I am currently in the seventh week of lockdown. Who would have thought? I had just published my book – ‘You Can Do It’ when all this was beginning. And I had sent out emails to the few folks I know to do my marketing.
And a few of them replied with, ‘Now that you are Working from Home – WFH, you can write more.’ I have a problem with that statement – because it implies that all you need is time to write or pursue a creative habit. It’s equating writing to a production system where productivity is equal to the amount of time you run the system.
For me, writing is an unpredictable activity. The more I plan it, the less the probability of my writing anything. I do not know why? But, this is the one activity where sheer will power does long-lasting damage. And it takes time for an idea to bloom, put down roots and grow to the point where it bears a fruit which appears in the form a chapter or a blog. Sometime the ideas slosh around before settling down for you to see a clear picture, especially if it is a fiction book.
Writing a blog like this or the non-fiction books comes a lot more easily to me. I do not have to think of them. I live in this space all the time. My purpose in life is to ‘Learn, Grow, Inspire and Contribute’ and my vision in life is ‘ To be a better version of myself every day’ – given these, it is natural for me to ponder on the topics of self-growth or better me. Hence these topics flow naturally through me -Through me being the keyword. I have come to realize that I am just the medium for these things to happen through me. I offer very less resistance to be a channel of such topics. This topic is ever-present in my mind chatter – there is no forcing the subject for which I am grateful.
Fiction books for me have a more extended gestation period – because there is so much scope. And ideas all add up over some time. And things need to readjust as new information comes to light. This is my favourite part of writing – the brainstorming. Anything is possible, and I am not invested in any idea or story. There is a freedom in fluidity which I love, you can imagine more so than ever, there are different pathways, there is scope for your characters to change.
I wish life could be that way – I could re-define myself the way I can my characters. I wish I did not etch myself in stone but define myself a moment to moment. I wish I were not stuck in the past but discovering myself new with every new moment because, in reality, that is the truth. I am a new person every moment. The old me stops to exist, but my idea of the past me continues.
How can you re-define yourself?