Love – so much more than a four-letter word. For some, it’s like – what do you mean, Love? I have a life to live. For some, it is that magical feeling that will cure everything. For some, it is an image of what movies and books talk about. For some, it is what runs the world. Each of us reading this has our own definition, and we are all right. That is what is so lovely about Love – it is like water and takes the shape of the container it is in.

I met you when I did not even know I was looking for you.

I asked my dad once – if he loved my mom. And his answer was – ‘ First, define Love for me and then I will tell you.’ And when I asked my mom this question, she responded, ‘Don’t ask silly questions. It is going to rain. Go pick up clothes from the terrace.’ They had arranged marriage where they did not see each other until the wedding day. Love was a filmy concept for me until it happened slowly and gradually. And by the time I realized I was in Love – it was too late to do anything about it. But, whether Love happens at first sight or gradually, there is a point when there is a spark or some connection – whether you know it or not. This is true not only of romantic Love but of any love. Be it friendship, siblings, work.

One thing about Love is there is very little you can do to make it happen – when it happens, it is an act of grace, and you are one of the lucky few to have experienced the feeling in whatever form it may be. This lovely scene between Winnie the Pooh and Piglet is a good summary.

Piglet: How do you spell love? Pooh: You don’t spell it, you feel it.

It is a connection, a bond that pulls you towards the person – whether romantic or not. But, you want to forge a connection with a person. You want to share a slice of your life with them. Most of the time, you cannot explain the reason. On the surface, you may be able to name many things, like for me and my friend it was an issue with our roommates. But, in hindsight, roommates were just a veneer to bring us together – there is more to our friendship than just complaining about our roommates. My life is much more prosperous because of the friendship – I am fortunate! And it is not like we have a reason why we are in each other’s lives – we have a connection that must be honoured.

One thing I will admit is that it has been difficult to forge such connections as I have grown older – maybe because I am very picky or closed. Because it is a lot of work – one, you have a lot more history that the other person needs to know, and at one level, you are satisfied and content. Most importantly, any relationship comes with its own set of hurt, joy, pain, and laughter. They are hard work – and I don’t want to do that hard work.

But, as I said, it is not up to me—sometimes life surprises you with a connection, which is a calling and not a choice. You know that the universe has presented you with this inexplicable opportunity, and there is something here. Kicking, screaming—however you face it, it exists—and it is genuinely grace that life presents you with such lovely connections that can only be felt, not spelt.

Can you recall such connections in your life?

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