I have lived in Ohio for more than a decade now. And I still resist it – it’s a love-and-hate relationship. I came to Columbus, Ohio, from London with a bit of resentment about the move. London, for those who don’t know, is where people who do not belong anywhere fit. I don’t belong anywhere. We moved every four to seven years growing up, and then I lived in Boston, Phoenix, London and Columbus – while jet-setting worldwide. So, Columbus was not exactly where I would connect.

I do not understand how people can live without genuine connection

So, for the last decade or so, my “friends” have all been online. We Skype and WhatsApp, or we go to London almost every year. And at some point, I had made peace with the fact that I would never truly connect here. So, if you had told me about six months ago that I would find a connection with a local, never left Ohio, does weights and outdoor stuff, shoots clay pigeons and has a not-so-developed palate for food – I would have scoffed at you. Not only that, I find a couple more people at work with whom I get giggles and discuss books. Of course, granted that it is too soon – it might be the initial honeymoon period, but there is a bond here. Don’t get me wrong, I still have preferences, but the pool of people is not limited anymore. All of a sudden, people I thought were not my type – I am connecting with.

That has made me revisit so many mental models. One, maybe I am unaware of how I can connect to other people. Perhaps I should explain what I mean by connect – a double click from our usual, how was your day, weather, insufferable small talk items. You genuinely laugh, connect and want to know the other person. I told Adam that it’s been ages since I found a new connection like this. Back to mental models, I realise that connection goes beyond what I thought necessary to bond – diversity, food, spirituality, etc. Sometimes, a link happens without any discernible cause, at least the one that is visible to the naked eye.

When you least expect it, the universe will surprise you with new opportunities.

For me, this is reverse diversity – hanging out with people who have stayed in one place is a new experience. And I never thought embracing that would also be a slice of diversity for me. Maybe that is why the universe brought me here right after London to see how the other half lives.

The original point of the blog was – that I was proven wrong. I did find camaraderie, that too, with unlikely candidates and at work. This reality did not exist before, but now it does. It goes to show how much I know. It makes me wonder how I am limited in other situations with my beliefs. When you meditate, a part of the process is losing your mind. Only when that happens do we genuinely grow and experience something bigger than us that is always present, but we cannot connect to it.

But you must be aware that there is something bigger than us just out there. We limit ourselves by our beliefs and put constraints on what is possible.

How can you un-limit yourself? Can you identify situations where letting go might serve you better?

Leave a Reply