I meditate, journal, and breathe consciously throughout the day as much as I can. I exercise regularly, set my intention for tomorrow, and do a mini retro at the end of the day. I listen to speakers like Tolle and Ram Dass and have regular conversations about how to be a better version of myself.
Despite all this, I find myself reacting to people – a few people or a couple of people. At any given time in my life, there are always a couple of people that I react to. And recently, I realized experientially that the problem is not them – all I need to do is breathe, as I cannot fix them. As I am writing the blog, the thought comes that – the point is not to get rid of those people but to learn to live them as a constant. Hindsight seems obvious, right – for most of my life, a couple of thorns on the side have always existed, but I have subconsciously tried to get rid of them. In the most spiritual way, I tell myself that there is a lesson to learn, and once I learn the lesson, the irritants disappear, or my situation changes. Which is not a bad thing – you say? Right, but if these people are constantly popping up in my life, then maybe the lesson is that I should learn to live with them.
The next question is, how do I learn to live with them constantly? Make them a part of my daily life – or rather accept them as they exist. I am the one who is not including them. First, ah-ha is acceptance of reality as it is – the annoying people exist, and I need to accept them fully instead of thinking of what lessons I need to learn to get rid of them.
Second, use them to be more present. Most of the time I interact with them, the gap between them saying/doing something and me reacting is so quick it’s like a firecracker. So, use those interactions to breathe; if nothing else, just repeat what I heard; that gives me space. And a hundred per cent of the time, it’s not what the irritant is saying but the reaction inside you – so breathe and accept the reaction. Focus on the reaction inside you, not on the person in front of you. Now, this is a tricky step as there will be a lot of reactions before observing the reaction. The way to get through this is gentle pressure and kind efforts – keep trying without focusing on the result, and at some point, it will click, and then it gets easier.
Last but not least – gratitude. I am grateful for these annoyances, irritating people, for existing in my life, as they are the doorway to presence. I should be thankful that they always allow me to work on myself. The universe is so caring that it has provided me with 24/7 people to work on myself.
And as I said, this blog itself was an aha – what I thought I would write and what came out was totally different. I trust the universe, and I wrote what I needed to hear. My biggest aha was that I should accept them first instead of getting rid of them. Maybe that was the lesson in the first place – but who cares? I will use every annoying, provoking, irritating, challenging, aggravating person in my life to go inside and accept the reaction they produce.
Do you have any thoughts on how you might use the people who are a pain in you know what?