I finished watching a Netflix film titled, ‘Kho Gaye Hum Kahan’ meaning – Where did we get lost? It seemed apt, as I have recently found myself wondering that, too. Well, I take that back – it has been a recurring theme in my life that surfaces its head now and then.
What am I talking about? Nomad theme in my life. Those of you who have read my previous blogs know that I am a nomad – I have never lived in a place for more than seven years, with Columbus being an exception – a decade (Sad Sigh!!!). And this wasn’t a choice. This was life – my dad worked for a bank, so we got transferred every four to seven years. And once I was on my own, life took over, and I moved to Boston -> Phoenix -> London -> Columbus -> TBD. When you have moved all your life, you learn to blend but never belong. Only a tiny circle of people stay with you – sometimes, the people change, and the circle remains tiny.
As long as I was in London, it never bothered me as everybody is a nomad, so if everybody is an outsider, you don’t feel like one. Universe likes to have fun, so from London, it dropped me straight to Columbus, where people don’t even change the address on their license. Even after a decade, I am still struggling to settle into Columbus. I have made peace with knowing that part of me will never blend or belong to Columbus. And I also know that once I have learned my lesson(s), the move will happen somehow.
To top it all, my family is spread on various continents – my parents are in India, my brother is in Sydney, and we are in Columbus. When we meet online, it is dinner for my parents, lunch for my brother and breakfast for me. It does make for exciting trips – I have been to Sydney twice, for example. But, sometimes, you find yourself wishing we all just lived a few hours away. On the other hand, I have a colleague at work whose family lives a couple of hours away, and when I told him it was so lovely, his answer was it was all relative.
I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. It is not about what should be but more about where we are. Every seed or tree in nature is different, even if they are of the same species, and that is the beauty. Then how can we be any different? We are all humans, but each of us is uniquely distinct – and that is the beauty. But we are so caught up in our individual stories that we forget that beauty lies in accepting reality because there is nothing else right now!
At the end of it – if we truly live in the moment and enjoy it fully without past or future, then this entire blog is meaningless. Now, that also needs acceptance – what is happening right now is words are coming, which I am typing on the page. They will mean different things to different people, just as this blog will present its different layers when I read it right after posting it or a week or a year later.
What is your reality at this very moment?