Somebody at work was talking about rules, etc – and my response to that was – ‘I follow the rules if I like them.’ Everybody laughed, but I was serious. I do things if they make sense to me – now, don’t get me wrong. I have lived in the real world long enough to know that some things are not worth making a fuss over – so, even though I disagree, I just do it. But, things that matter – I will fight tooth and nail or make it so difficult for the other party that they wish the rule had never existed in the first place.
Along similar lines, I talked to my husband and dad about how most of my cousins and even some friends I know have this relationship with their husbands where they look up to them. Looking up to someone means, at that point, you have lost your ability to make your own decision, which is the scariest thing, not being able to decide for yourself. I do not understand how people can trust others so much that they do what they are told. I don’t mind if I make a wrong decision as long as it is mine – rather than doing something right but said by another person. Yeah – I know, right?
Adam thought it had to do with having a younger brother, which gave me a rebellious streak, but I think some people are just born this way. We do not listen because we are only capable of listening to the truth within us – and it has to come out. We are the people who say that the emperor is not wearing any clothes. We are the ones who go straight to the elephant in the room.
Even writing about being told what to do causes unpleasant sensations in my body. Can you imagine how much women’s potential we have lost because they did what they were told to do because of their upbringing or society? My mom and aunts are some of the most capable people I know – they know people and know how to work with them – and that is the most crucial skill in business. Of course, it is possible that women in her generation also had rebellious streaks but were not financially independent to make that decision.
Stand-up comedians have the best job. They get to say what they want and say it’s a joke – of course, it is heavily censored in India now. And in some ways, that is what this blog is also about – an outlet to be who I am. I need to be who I am; that has been my life journey. And I will admit, much to the shock of some of you, that it is a struggle because even though I know my limits, there are times when you do have to adhere to society – sometimes you have to fake it but never make it. Sometimes, society is not ready for radical candor.
If everybody in the world were like this, we would make rational decisions – a colony of a hundred deer know when to move when the 51st deer moves. We are each capable of making the right decision only if we believe in ourselves, but the society and power-hungry people we live with do not want that – because they would rather tell us what to do than let us think for ourselves. And look where that led us today – Afghanistan, Ukraine, climate change. Now go deep with yourself and ask, is that what you really wanted? And it still happened because we cannot get to quorum naturally like the deer. Now, of course, that is not going to happen overnight, but somewhere, we need to start and be ready for mistakes of our own – so that we can learn from them as opposed to doing what we think is right or aiming to get likes from social media, etc.
Are you ready to make a decision based on what you know and improve on that? Are you ready to take charge of your destiny?