As some of you know, I am in a new role. Fortunately or unfortunately, four managers have left in the last five years – while that is a problem in itself. An impact of that is that my team was left rudderless to fend for themselves in the corporate jungle. They did the best they could and formed a clique of their own. Then, I came along with my ideas, wanting to be a part of a team. As you can imagine, that ruffled a few feathers – all of a sudden, they were being asked to be accountable, own things – and do them by a certain timeline, and somebody wanted to see their work.
At the ninety-day mark, this is to be expected. The team and I now have a sense of what each other is like – so I decided to share my life map with them. That should give them a flavour of who I am and how I behave—the life map talks about breaking barriers as a girl in my somewhat conservative extended family. I was the first girl to do engineering, go abroad, do an MBA and marry a foreigner. This required me to rebel at every stage in my life – even simple things like wearing jeans, cutting my hair, reading books and not cooking.
I asked my team for comments, and one of them said – ‘You won’t take no for an answer unless that’s your answer as well.’ I chuckled when I read that because those who know me will agree wholeheartedly. I did not get to where I am today by saying yes to everything. I had to say NO to so much growing up that my first reaction was to rebel. Now, did I already have this gene or was it a trait I acquired? We will never know. And it does not matter – what matters is that it is the reality today.
I thought about it some more, and the reason I take a firm stance is that I don’t have another alternative. When I decided to marry Adam, it was as strong knowing that there was no way I could go to my wedding and put the garland on another man. It was a physical knowing – my body knew the truth. And in most cases, like doing engineering, it was like I was just playing the script that was written. Don’t get me wrong, there are things that I will put my foot down on, knowing that it is just me being stubborn. But, for things that really matter, it is not my choice – it is the universe working through me. And I am not saying I am like a puppet but more like a dance with the universe. The universe takes the lead, and I follow, or it’s like why writing is an act of faith. I show up to write and see what needs to be written. Sometimes, life is the same – I show up, and then it shows up.
Now, I am thinking what the point of the blog was – maybe there was no point. It just needed to be written, and it did. How do you show up in your life?