As some of you know, I had a love marriage and not an arranged marriage as per the traditional Indian family customs. It was not a well thought or planned decision. As in, I did not grow up thinking – oh! I want a love marriage. If somebody had told me that I would end up marrying a foreigner – I would have scoffed at them. But life had other plans for me.

I still remember the confusion in my heart and head about what choice to make. I was going to be the first member of my family in all generations to make such a choice. And at that time, the prevalent theory was that Americans were keen on divorce or had extra-marital affairs. If I had made a pros/cons list, the cons list of marrying a foreigner outweighed the pros list for sure. And back at home, I was constantly being ‘influenced’ by my extended family.

Pay Attention to Your Gut Feeling. No Matter how good something looks, if it doesn’t feel right… walk away!

So, how did I make the decision? I did not – it was made for me, in the sense that I knew in my gut that it was physically impossible for me to marry anybody other than Adam. The feeling was so strong that my entire family finally agreed and made peace with my decision. It wasn’t so much the choice I was making but what was the only thing I could do. I bring this up because I recently attended a leadership talk about intuition at work. The speaker said that intuition is to know something without being able to explain why? And that’s exactly how I made my marriage decision – Intuition. And I can recall a couple of other choices I have made based on my gut.

The speaker went on to explain that it is essential to be aware of that intuitive thought before reason takes over. As humans, we are ruled by our thinking minds. And we live in a society that gives more importance to science that is backed by data which we can grasp as opposed to science that is beyond the understanding of our minds. We have conditioned ourselves to live in a world where mystery and magic are suitable for entertainment but not for real life – whereas, in reality, there is more unknown than known. For example, the human body is an incredible piece of machinery, so well-oiled that it works even when we sleep without our minds being aware of it.

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.

Similarly, we breathe without even knowing it – yes, you can explain how breathing works involuntarily, but can you explain why it works the way it does? Human evolution could have gone many ways, but we have turned out to be in the current form. Let’s take it even further – think of the billions of galaxies around the world – what do we really know about them?

The whole point of the above paragraph is to point out – how can one rely on a pros/cons list when we know only a part of the truth. Sometimes your gut – not your heart/mind knows what is right because it is tapping into something far wiser than the minuscule mind we have. Next time you are grappling with decision-making – try to clear your thoughts by meditating, journaling or doing something else and listen to what your gut is saying. Your body knows what’s best for us, and at the end of the day, there is no point in taking life too seriously. It is a friendly universe, after all!

What is your gut telling you?

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