I need a taste of my own medicine. The old saying that the advice we give others is often the advice we need ourselves is true. All this great wisdom that I spout in my blog is evident proof of that. So, today I decided to make that the purpose of this blog.
The advice that I need is to not argue with reality. In June of next year, we would have lived in Columbus, Ohio, for ten years – a decade. And all these years, the thoughts that I have are along these lines.
Columbus should be like London.
I want diversity like London in Columbus.
I need a different cultural atmosphere like London in Columbus.
These statements seem valid, right? Now, let’s take a look at the following situation. There is a tree in front of you, and you have thoughts like
This tree should be the sky.
I want a tree that’s like the sky.
I need the vastness of the sky in the tree.
These statements sound ridiculous, right? In essence, there is no difference between the two situations above. In both cases, there is an argument with reality. How much ever I want Columbus will never be like London? And I can dislike Columbus as much as I want, but it won’t change the reality – as my dad pointed out years ago. Columbus is, and the sooner I come to terms with it, the lesser the suffering. And who knows, I may even discover what Columbus has to offer in the first place. Maybe, the universe wants me to fulfil my purpose in Columbus and once done, and we may move naturally. Unless I let go of the need for Columbus to be London – how can I experience Columbus?
I am not in London, and I want to be in London while living in Columbus. I am not living anywhere, and that’s why I feel like I do not belong here. All these statements feel logical, but at the same time, I cannot ignore the want in my mind for it not to be true. I have to accept that I have thoughts that want Columbus to London, but I do not have to believe it. As believing that thought causes suffering.
The purpose of dedicating the blog to this topic is to explore my uninvestigated thoughts. For years I have had these thoughts but never met them understanding or enquiry. The only way to let go of something is to let it in and let it be. The only way I can let go of the desire for London is to let the desire in and let it be – not judge it, oppose it, believe it but let it be. And at this point, I want to mention Byron Katie who I have been listening to – and who talks about enquiry, the work.
I will admit it is daunting, but it all starts with awareness. Sun does not have to do anything to drive the darkness away – it just shines. In the same way, I just need to shine the light of awareness and see what happens!
Where in your life are you arguing with reality?