Monthly Archives: February 2021

Have You Experienced Time Yet?

  

We might all think we run our lives – and we are all wrong. Time runs this entire world. The little watches we have on our wrists, calendars on the walls, or our electronic devices rule the world. From the time we wake up to the alarm to the time we go to bed – all we do is run around the clock.

It is almost ten. Is breakfast ready yet?
I have a meeting in ten minutes – can we do this later?
I have to get this done now.
I wish I had more hours in the day?
Where does the time go?

Sounds familiar! We live in a mad world where the human-made concept of time shackles us all. Nature does not live on a timetable, and neither do the planets and sun. I understand that we need to have some concept of time to live in a civilized fashion. But like all things, we have become slaves to time.

Given that time has such significant importance in our lives, one would think that we have experienced time, right? But, have we – experienced time? The past and the future that we talk about are just thoughts that occur in our mind, but not something we know as real—the closest thing to time that we do experience is this moment – NOW. We may plan for the future or repent our past – the only place where we can live and do something is this moment. However, we all live everywhere except in the present – and we wonder why we are not happy?

Imagine you need to get a loaf a bread. You get into the car so that you can get a loaf of bread. You go to the grocery store so that you can get that loaf of bread. You stand in the line so that you can get the loaf of bread. And finally, you get home and eat that loaf of bread so that you can get on with the next thing. And you never even taste that loaf of bread.

Can you see why life is unfulfilling because we never live? We treat this moment as a means to something else. We are conditioning our mind to ‘Live’ in the future or the past but never NOW.

Since we treat every moment as a means to do something that we are never living, no wonder we all go through life feeling something is missing. So, what do we do? First is the awareness that there are two dimensions to living – vertical and horizontal. The purpose of washing dishes is to wash dishes and not to clean them. The primary goal is to wash dishes, and the secondary is to clean them.

In summary, it means doing one thing at a time without thinking about the result and the next item after that. Even if you do, it is secondary – what matters is how mindful you are of what you are doing now.

As you read this article, are you aware of the letters flashing in front of your eyes, or is this article stopping you from getting on with the next moment – which will happen in the NOW?

Are you ready to fly and soar?

I watched a cartoon movie called Rio- about a domesticated macaw named Blu who goes to Rio from Minnesota to mate with a female named Jewel and produce more offsprings of his kind. 

Jewel is free-spirited and literally ‘wild’, and Blu does not even know how to fly. And in the climax, while saving Jewel’s life, he ends up flying accidentally. All his life Blu lived in a cage, never flew and then when he got a chance to spread his wings, he never looked back. 

Have you wondered how many of us, including you and me – are in Blu’s category? We live in our routine studded life where the unhappiness due to the ups and downs of life is considered normal. You did not get the promotion – of course, you are sad. You got the promotion – others are jealous. There is no perfect life situation, but we keep living life as if it is or even worse do our best to make it perfect. Remember, in a bet against the casino – Casino always wins just as Universe as the last word.

Our minds and ego love routine or control so much that they clip our wings and we forget that we can spread our wings and fly. Sometimes it is the external world that clips our wings – societal norms, peer pressure, movies, unrealistic expectations. But the Universe is benevolent, and it wants what’s best for us – to break free and spread our wings. And it keeps nudging us towards that goal – even if we keep resisting.

We see all the signs but ignore them because we cannot fly because we have never used our wings. If this is all sounding too abstract, let’s take an example. 

I did software engineering, and the belief that I had was that engineering and creativity do not go together. I grew up telling myself that I am not creative. And in Indian society, you do not make money with creativity – you need a real job. Sparks were there even then – I started writing stories when I was less than ten years old. Indian newspaper published my article about riots with the title – ‘Ingenuity of a child.’ My college published my sarcastic-humour article about our then prime minister. I was happy that it happened but never gave it any serious thought. 

It wasn’t until I took the creativity and personal mastery course that I let a small part of myself believe that I am creative. And when I did ‘The artist way‘ by Julia Cameron – I opened my wings tentatively. And since then I wrote three books and also ran a Bollywood Dance company. And if I hadn’t expressed my creativity, it would lead to a climax like Blu/Jewel. And that climax would have been more painful. Universe nudges you gently at first, and if you do not listen, it gives you a right slap that leaves your ear ringing. It is up to you which one you pay attention to!

And since then, I have met people who surprisingly are interested in writing a book. Once you spread your wings – others see themselves doing it too. 

Are you ready to spread your wings and soar?

HumanKind-ness. It’s the ultimate truth

A young woman lost touch with her dad as a child when her parents divorced. As she grows up, she desires to meet him – she finds out that he is dead. She wishes she had made an effort to reach out to him sooner.

A woman’s in-laws shun her because she could not produce a male heir. And the problem is not with her but her husband but still she bears the grunt of insults.

Another young woman is in a toxic relationship with her boyfriend. They are going to therapy but cannot break the vicious cycle of emotions that keep them tied to each other and unhappy.

A young girl’s parents demand that the boy they found with her marry her even if he is not of the same caste. Boy’s parents have no choice but to agree.

All these stories, I am sure sound familiar to you right. You might have had some experiences yourself or know of friends who did. As a part of the human experience, we all suffer through the same emotions. Even if the situations are different, some situations may be as drastic as the death of close one or minor like a car breaking down, but the feelings we go through remain the same.

If I told you that the first three stories are about billionaires who buy a fifteen thousand dollar fish maw for soup and the last is of a poor farmer of a low caste. Does your perspective change?

Until we knew that they were super-rich or poor, we had a different kind of connection, and when we got to know their financial status, there was a small shift. And the shift happened in our head – our mindset. Why does race, finances, skin colour, country of origin have to play in part in how we relate with each other? We all have two eyes, two ears, one nose and a mouth.

Imagine you and your friends are playing a video game where you each have an avatar. One of your friend’s avatar hits the jackpot and can fly now. And your avatar becomes a mean underworld don. Will you start treating each other differently? No, right because that would be silly. Just because a bunch of pixels on the screen can fly does not mean you treat your friend differently.

But we do this in real life all the time? If somebody is rich, they get a different preference than somebody who is not. If somebody is a CEO, they are looked upon differently from a janitor? Who said that just because somebody is a CEO, they are better than a Janitor? As a society, we came up with this structure because our mind (ego) likes differentiation. If there was no comparison or need for control, then there is no need for ego – Ego will have to die, which it does not want.

Life is no different from the video game where we have avatars who go around doing all this stuff – underneath it all we are all the same.

Are you in touch with the essence underneath the avatar?