I was watching one of the episodes of Law and Order, and this scene jumped out at me.
Ben Stone: The father really believed that he loved his son.
Adam Schiff: And, you don’t.
Paul Robinette: Well, history has shown that sons will go to extremes to please their fathers.
Ben Stone: Well, my father wanted me to be a doctor – and the closest I got to was organic chemistry.
Adam Schiff: Then, what happened.
Ben Stone: I grew up.

J.K Rowling – the author of the Harry Potter series, says, “There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.” [This extends to people other than our parents too – like friends, siblings and sometimes just plain old childhood]

Some of us have lived so long thinking that we are living life on our parent’s terms that we forget that it is our life at the end of the day.

This stage when you grow up comes in everybody’s life or lifetimes 🙂 but it does arrive. Everybody has to accept it – what differs is how they accept it? Some do it happily; some are forced; some do it begrudgingly, and some do it unknowingly.

As a child, we are not capable of processing the information or emotions that world throws at us, so we create a reality which works for us as a child. For example, let’s say you did not like swimming class as a kid, so you threw a tantrum by locking yourself in the restroom – every time you had a class. In the end, your parents decided that they are not taking you to the swim class. You found out that throwing tantrum lets you get away from unpleasant situations. Now, the child has grown up, and he has not updated his defense mechanisms – he does not like applying for jobs – so his default response is to hide in his room and not come out.

Sound familiar? Nobody escapes from childhood – we build our mental models as a child and then spend the rest of the adult life trying to undo the mental models. Sooner we update our operating system sooner we start living life on our term.

Why is this important? Why is it important to reset the way you handle a situation as a child? Well, the simple answer is you are not a child anymore. Another painful answer is this: Let’s say you have an elastic band that you have been stretching for years – there will come a breaking point. And when it breaks, it will snap back at you, and everything that it was holding will fall. Do you want to move to a tie or a new rubber band or wait for the old one to break – is up to you.

All of us human beings have been put on earth for a specific purpose to overcome obstacles and reach our highest potential. And we can do that only if live our life, not our friend’s, not our parents but ours. Claim what is yours and shine like a star!

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