“A problem is a problem only if you define it as a problem.”
I remember when I was doing my engineering in Bombay – I had to take a share auto to my college from train station – Santa Cruz. And during exams or important classes that used to be my prime worry. I did not want to spend any more money than I had too.
And then I got a job as a software engineer and I was earning. And Auto sharing was no longer an problem because I was earning. It did not even cross my mind – I shared an auto if I could and did not if I could not. It could have been this easy when I was doing engineering too – it wasn’t that much and I could always go early but for reasons unknown to me I had decided that auto sharing was a big problem. In fact most of friends did not even think of it as a problem. I had no issues with exams/interviews just with sharing auto. And my friends did not even care about auto but had trouble with exams.
We define what the problems in our life are and then start behaving as if they are happening to us and not as if we created them. Because if we admitted to ourselves that we create problems then we are not victims anymore and will need to do something about them.
Let’s say you have a difficult stakeholder in your life and you have defined him as a problem – worst nightmare of your life. If you check with a few of your colleagues or the stakeholder’s close friends – you might find that they think it’s quite the opposite. So your definition of him/her as a problem is coming within you and not from that person and it means that this stakeholder is an indication of lesson that needs to be learnt. This means you need to be grateful to the person for the opportunity to grow instead of running away from it.
Sometimes we worry about something when it hasn’t even happened and start living it’s reality of it which is just making your life miserable now unnecessarily. Some of us are so used to living in that problem state that if we ever find ourselves devoid of any problem we create problems for ourselves. And as Mark Twain at said – “I have had a lot of worries but most of them never happened.” All problems are after all illusions of our mind – yes, every problem is created by the mind. And let’s say you believe you have a problem that is real – then attack it with full force immediately. Sometimes all life wants you to do is to grab the bull by horns and show who is the boss. If you do take the step you will find a cute puppy instead of a violent bull – such is life.
Life will teach you the lessons you have to learn – it will give you a nudge , push , shove and sometimes a tight slap if you don’t face them but it will teach you the lesson.