My Dad is a big fan of reading all the self-help materials he can get his hands on. And as a child he encouraged me to do the same. I used to take the clippings from the newspapers/magazines and file them away. I lost the folder but I still remember a few things or quotes that stuck with me. The quote was “Always do something in your life that scares you.” At that point it was just an quote that called out to me and like all such quotes it remained dormant until the student was ready.
Since I took Creativity and Personal Mastery in London Business School, I have been on a spiritual journey and worked through issues in my life. I have been doing yoga and meditation since then and these things help you along your journey with obstacles and some breakthroughs.
Initially any book that I read or any movie that I watched in the spiritual genre my reaction was “Wow, that’s so cool.” And then it was about talking about how it applied to my life and how it applied to others and sharing the experience. And then at some point without even internalizing it all I had internalized most of it. And now I am not drawn to movies or books in the same way as I GET them now.
Similarly, trials and tribulations in my life and the life of others do not interest me in the same fashion as they did before. I am beginning to realize that this is life, this is human predicament. If it’s not this issue and then it’s another issue. I am sure all this sounds jaded, right? And I would agree with you that I am jaded.
And this is where the quote about doing something scary in your life makes sense to me and called out to me. About two months ago I knew I had to join swimming classes – there’s no major reasoning behind it just had to do it. Now, as a kid growing up in India you are not encouraged to spend time on activities other than studying which is what I did diligently. However, my brother who for some reason was going to swimming classes decided he was not going to the classes and locked himself up in the toilet when the time came for him to go. My parents being the middle-class parents in India decided not to waste the money and got me going instead.
I was overjoyed and honestly don’t recall much of the classes except that there were days when I was scared to let go off the railing until my dad threatened to stop taking me to the classes. And I swam even if it meant with my head above the water. And after that I never got into swimming pool for another ten years maybe.
So, I had taken just three swimming lessons before coming to Belize. And I admit openly that I am scared of the water, well more so of the water getting into my nose. I made progress in the last three classes I had and I am slowly beginning to realize that it’s all about practice and telling your subconscious that it’s ok.
Right, so this is where I was when we landed in Belize. And as you know already we are on an island and if I didn’t get into water there was no point. So I was mentally prepared to get into water and have been doing so diligently every day. I can even admit to actually relaxing and enjoying a few moments of them. I learnt how to float on my back at least until water splashes over my face and I end up drinking salt water. My body probably contains more salt water than the Caribbean sea at this point.
Yesterday we decided to try snorkel – and until we actually tried it I was scared – you are literally breathing inside water. We tried it in shallow water first, I held Adam’s hand and snorkeled around with him. Then we actually snorkeled our way to a neighboring island. It is really cool to see under the water – see and touch starfish, see the coral, sponge or seaweed swaying while the sunlight plays with them. Even though I made it, I was still scared that something might happen. But, I am keeping at it and someday it won’t be a big deal. As somebody said – most battles are fought within our mind and I totally agree.
While we were walking to dinner there were some Bocce balls lying around and Adam asked if I wanted to play. And my instant response was – “No, I am tired of doing things that I do not know how to do.”